I woke up cranky and depressed this morning, and in pain. I wallowed in negativity for five minutes. I was growing grouchier. I decided to change the way I was feeling. Shortly, I was back to my old self.
On the annual television show Big Brother, a contestant was asked by her housemates how she managed to stay positive regardless of what was happening.
(The format: Twelve people are in the house, and one by one they are voted out until only two are left. A committee of expelled houseguests decides who will win the show. Everyone lies and betrays each other.)
Explaining her perpetual sunniness, the contestant said: “If I don’t like the mood I am in, I change it.”
A client of mine recently offered insight into positive thinking.
Committee in the Sky
Imagine, he said, that there is a committee in the sky charged with giving you exactly what you want. One hitch. The committee does not speak English. If you want the committee to give you what you want, then you have to give the committee a picture. In return, they will give you what is in the picture.
It follows that if you are constantly thinking about the things that you do not want to happen, you project a negative image. Changing to a positive image, the committee will give you what you truly want.
Same for anyone who has a fear, a false experience appearing real. The fearful person worries so much about fear he seems a magnet for it.
For example: Imagine you just had a panic attack driving on a freeway. You promptly leave the freeway in an anxious, worried, and also first-time, state.
No Freeways for Him
The person frets this will happen whenever he is on the freeway. The committee mentioned above sees this image gives it to you every time. Once you change this perception freeway driving is relatively fun again.
This can be true for everything you do. Those people who gain what they want have learned what they need to do to get it. They prepare a work plan and then work the plan. They have unshakeable faith that they will get what they are working toward.
I have been seeing a client for several sessions who says he wants to change. When I give him tasks, he does not do them. Why? He said he knew what to do. But as an unemployed manager, it had always been his job to take an overview of what was needed and to develop strategies to get there. He never actually had to do the work.
I told him this overview approach was not going to take him anywhere. He said he would try to follow my directive, “action not words.”
Slowly he began to understand that he needs a clear picture of what he wants and a plan.
Once he understood the principle of the positive visualizations, there was no stopping him. He is well settled in a new job, happy he eliminated negative thinking.
Each of us has the ability to be better. We can be whatever we want. The only time “success” comes before “work” is in the dictionary.